Well, I got through another baby shower. I didn't fall apart or fall in a heap on the floor. I was so proud of myself! That was until the ride home. Halfway home I just started crying. It wasn't the pretty cry. You know the movie cry where the tears well up and then trickle down slowly. You just dab at them. The pretty cry. Well, I didn't do the pretty cry. I did the ugly cry. The hyperventilating sob. The ugly cry where its like someone turned a faucet on your face. The ugly cry where there is so much snot coming out of your nose that you start to gross yourself out. Of course, I didn't have a tissue or napkin anywhere. So my sleeve took the brunt of my snotty nose. All I could think of was "what if I get pulled over? Maybe once the cop saw my ugly cry face he would just let me go. Or tell me to just go. "
I think that this might have been harder for me because this is around the time I was due. I hope that I didn't put a damper on the shower. I tried very hard to not let my emotions emerge. I prayed that my face didn't give away what was going on in my heart.
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